Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Death or Glory

This is still just a personal blog, right? I know no one's reading this, anyway. Well, how's this: Disclaimer: This probably isn't funny or interesting to anyone that doesn't know me personally, and maybe not even then. Consider yourself warned.

Ok, so last night I fucking exploded. Around 9:30 I found my back hurting, so I took some tylenol (generic, whatever), a shower, and a walk. This has been occurring for the last six months, and I've more or less figured out how to combat it. The problem is, It was getting worse, fast. By the time I was out of the shower, I didn't much feel like standing. I walked about a quarter-mile into town before I decided walking wasn't working, and that I'd be better off just curling up in the fetal position on the pavement and throwing up. I managed not to do that, managed to drag myself back home. By now I decided that, though my back certainly hurt it was not the origin of the problem. My ribs were sore as hell, as though I broke a couple on either side. I didn't want to breath. It seemed like some internal organ was ripping and tearing every time I moved, but staying still was worse. Lying on my back hurt, on my stomach even more so. Standing was out of my range of concentration, I ended up changing position every 30 seconds or so looking for something that didn't feel like I was making it, aggravated I guess.

By midnight I knew sleep wasn't going to come, no matter how tired I was. My mother decided what was wrong with me was my gallbladder. From a googled website, (my bold):

In gallbladder disease, bile in the gallbladder becomes concentrated and thickens. Gallstones are born out of this sludge from cholesterol and bile salts. The end result of the disease process is inflammation (cholecystitis) or stones (cholelithiasis). A gallbladder attack occurs when the gallstone blocks the flow of bile from the gallbladder and is manifested as a pain in the right side (sometimes perceived in the right shoulder because of referred pain) as severe as the excruciating pain of a heart attack.
Fucking hell. Attacks last twelve to eighteen hours. I've never wanted to kill myself because of a physical pain before. By about 1:30 I had lost the energy to move around, and was lying wide awake on my bed. A couple times I passed out, only to be awakened shortly afterward by my own breathing, I assume. By about 4 I could tell the pain was receding. I could sit up without much consequence, though breathing, just existing, was still a pain. By seven I could walk to the sink to get some water without wanting to vomit. I was tired enough by 8:30 to fall asleep through the pain.

I awoke about 4 hours later feeling rested and much better. I was still sore as hell and unwilling to move, but sore is easy. Sore, in fact, feels good. Now I have to figure out how to deal with it recurring. Apparently it's mostly diet, and not a terribly hard one for me, all things considered. I should eat a few types of fruits, and stay away from eggs, pork, onions, poultry, milk and nuts. Onions and nuts (almonds) will be the hardest thing for me to quit, though thankfully there seem to be mixed reports as to benefits vs detriments regarding onions. Exercise is already part of my schedule these days. The first thing I'm supposed to do, though, is fast. Fast for three days, only drinking water. God, do I not want to do that. But I've been hungry before. Also I guess I need to avoid anything that looks like the superbowl for the next few months.

Of course, the key is moderation. I know enough not to worry about what I eat, as long It's not much. The only thing that seems to be stressed is eggs almost certainly bring pain. Well, wish me luck. I'll tell you how it goes.